Solo Dating: Starter Guide, Ideas & Tips!
It was a sunny Monday afternoon in New York City, and the weather had settled at a pleasant 79 degrees. Despite having work to catch up on, I couldn't resist the urge to indulge my inner foodie. So, I impulsively decided to drive 30 minutes downtown to a charming rooftop restaurant in Queens. The stunning skyline views beckoned, offering a perfect setting to tackle the neglected tasks looming over me for weeks (courtesy of my undiagnosed ADHD!). Dressed in a vibrant chiffon sundress, adorned with a silk scarf and stylish glasses, along with my favorite Kurt Geiger purse, I made my way to the rooftop lounge. Upon arrival, I politely requested a table for one, anticipating a relaxing solo dining experience.
Opting for succulent lamb chops marinated in chile ancho over green curry sauce with crispy fingerling potatoes, accompanied by a refreshing lychee martini. Surrounded by a serene aura that enveloped me completely, I was in unparalleled bliss.
Why Date Yourself?
My late Uncle always stressed the importance of being independent and self-sufficient, advising me not to depend too much on others for fun or pleasure. It's all about realizing that you have the power to shape the life you want. You can enjoy holidays, try new restaurants, discover your area, or go to the movies without needing a partner or friends. When I started to do solo dates, it created a freeing atmosphere for me.
How To Start Dating Yourself
The first thing about dating yourself is accepting and understanding that you don’t need a romantic partner or friends with you to have a great time, go on a holiday, try out a new restaurant, explore your town or city, or go out to the cinema. There are activities that you can do on your own without taking someone else’s interests and preferences into account.
It starts with your mindset. Start viewing solo dating as an investment in yourself. This perspective shifts the focus from mere self-indulgence to long-term self-care and growth.
Investing in yourself can take various forms - from fueling your body with nourishing foods, pampering yourself, or venturing into uncharted territories by trying something entirely new. It can also involve prioritizing your physical well-being through exercise and self-care practices. It’s a powerful way to cultivate self-love and personal development.
What I Learned
People will stare. Every so often you’ll get curious glances from people and occasionally, you might encounter inquiries if you’re anticipating company but simply shrug it off and smile. It might be uncomfortable at first, but it's important to ignore what others think.
Don’t be surprised if people try to make casual conversation as it tends to be less intimidating for others to initiate a chat when you are by yourself rather than in the company of a group of friends.
Tips To Get Started Solo Dating
So you want to start solo dating but you don’t know where to start? Here are some of my top tips:
Make a list of activities you enjoy and want to do.
Start small: Go see a movie, join a cooking class, or visit a tea/coffee shop you like for an hour..
Travel: Explore your city, then staycation nearby. Travel continentally, then globally when ready.
How To Plan The Perfect Dating Experience
Now you know the importance of self-dating and how to get started on solo dates, let’s level up and plan the perfect dating experience for you.
Schedule your date nights into your calendar. Choose a day with the least distractions and responsibilities so you can focus on yourself.
Create a solo date jar of ideas to keep it new and creative. It can be something small like taking yourself to a bookstore or signing up for a pottery class.
Make it special by getting dressed up, doing your hair and makeup, or wearing your favorite outfit.
Take it seriously and treat it as a proper date. Commit yourself and show yourself love.
Choose an activity that you think you’d like but make it slightly out of your comfort zone. It takes courage to date yourself.
Solo Date Ideas
These suggestions are designed to spark your imagination, serving as a launchpad for you to tailor them according to your preferences and boundaries.
Book yourself for an afternoon at the spa for a massage
Book a night at your favorite hotel
Spend an evening at the opera or a symphony orchestra concert
Reserve a table for one at your favourite restaurant
Do a Sip N Paint Night in your city
Book a solo trip or a staycation
Take yourself out on a shopping spree
Bake a cake or two at home
Do an online cocktail or mocktail-making class
Grab your cozy blanket and spend the day reading at home
Go rock climbing
Take yourself to an immersive dining experience
Sign up for a cooking class
Do a solo picnic in the park or in the vineyards
Buy yourself some pjs and lingerie
Go glamping for the weekend Spend the day in nature
Take a scenic bike ride
Sign up for an Air BNB local experience
Sign up for a dance class
Go to an indoor rollerskating rink
Take yourself to museum or art gallery
Try a new sport or workout class
Create an at-home spa experience
Go to a farmer’s market
Go for a swim
Sign up for an archery class
Go horse-back riding class
Take a photography class
Cook yourself a three course meal
Take yourself paragliding
Final Thoughts
Dating yourself can be a transformative practice and an enriching experience. Various activities can be both enjoyable and beneficial, including self-care practices, avenues for personal growth, and ventures that push you out of your comfort zone. Llife is about embracing its breadth and depth, so seize the opportunity to have a fulfilling time. I wholeheartedly advocate for everyone to embark on solo dates, irrespective of their relationship status. The specific nature of the solo date is inconsequential. What holds significance is the deliberate choice to spend quality time nurturing a positive relationship with oneself. May this insight empower you to explore the world and engage in self-discovery.
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Until next time
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